so summer day has begun. it's weird to have a blog that will contain accounts of 2 years of the same summer job. it's just as funny this year - plus i'm not a hot mess.

i have my own desk, extension and a larger set of responsibilities which feels alright i suppose. also, the office i work in is basically the love child of 'the office' and 90's movie genius 'office space' and i must say finally experiencing the mundane insanity that is office life makes me feel like i might be approaching adulthood. in general i'd say, for the average office worker here, the tendency is to:

1. spread as little work as possible over the longest time period you possibly can
2. take scheduled 'breaks' to wander about the cubicles and have several 10-20 minute conversation which contain mostly sighing and cliches like "oh you know mondays!", "so.... (sigh) happy hump day", "heeey, happy friday! big plans tonight?"
3. share ones passion for bad music by discussing favorite music and then searching around the internet to find "samples" to play for other people in the office... but don't even try to play good music bc no one will know it or like it.
4. blame a lack of productivity on anything except oneself. ie - the temperature in the office, how nice it is outside, day of the week, movie/show you saw over the weekend (or any time in the last 6 months) and use this excuse to try and have a mildly coherent/intelligent conversation.
5. call human resources frequently to ask if things like monthly birthday lunches, doctors apointments, or office trips to the hershey store can be paid time - the poor ppl in the HR office are so overwrought they will usually acquiesce.

i'm going to my first indigo girls concert tonight and am pretty much thrilled.

so i just finished my birthday. it was really fairly void of significant birthday celebration but i do feel like an adult for having an actual life on my birthday rather than just using it as a day to eat cake until it comes out my ass. (that could have several meanings and i'm not sure which i intend)

so i passed my flipping jury. big whoop. i mean it was a relief though and it'll be nice to not have to harrass gus everyday of the week anymore.

also of note, my french teacher made a flourless chocolate cake with rasberry topping and brought it to my exam. she had the whole class 1/2 heartedly wish me "bon anniversaire" when i walked in the room 5-7 minutes late. anyway, it was probably the sweetest thing a professor has done for me in the history of my education - if i let myself i could probably cry - but that might be the severe lack of sleep i've accumulated over the past week.

after my exam i wanted to go to the sausagefest (otherwise known as 1910 sausage company) but unfortuantely they still haven't figured out that they should stay open past 7pm. so i ended up eating a hybrid dinner of culvers/mcdonalds and basically it just doesn't work for me anymore. and headache and serious need for a nap always follows eating fastfood.

anyway, to cap off my birthday i went to perkins to study with anni. and believe me perkins after midnight on a weekday is unbelievable. i mean basically its just the same scene as on a weekendend except it often includes young adult parents in the smoking section with their toddlers/infants. anyway there's definitely something funny about discussing the origins of complex civilization in the ancient world next to a table discussing the benefits of marine vs army basic training and another table of 2 people who i'm pretty sure hadn't left the backcountry for at least several weeks.

anyway, now i'm just procrastinating. i'm 3hours and 4 essays away from summer and it feels so damn good. 6 months ago i decided it was time to pull it together and here i am. unfortunately this is really the first long term goal i've accomplished since auditioning for music school 29 months ago. fortunately i actually pulled it off bc it was fairly absolutely my last chance on a lot of levels.

tomorrow after my final i'm going to start packing. also, plans are in the works for kelsey and anni to spend a night in chicago with kate and i next monday on their way back down to texas. which is pretty amazing bc the night before coming up here in the fall anni and i spent a night in that condo. overall things have certainly changed for the better but it is truly reassuring to see a least a glimmer of consistency in what has been... well for lack of an appropriate adjective... the last 9 months.

i smell like perkins/cigarettes (both odors are fairly interchangable).


4 things a society needs to become a state: plant/animal domestication for carb/protein/textile soure, major river and/or irriagation technique, powerful elite class with legitimacy based in state religion, significant trade/specialization/interdependce between farmers/merchants/bureaucracy. woot.

so i'm in the computer lab in the con... what else is new... and a kid across the room is watching to some kenny g, im in dillards, mall music style saxaphone music videos on youtube. he's got some massive headphones on but the shitty saxaphone solo is definitely bleeding through. the refrain is playing now and i'm pretty certain i heard it last time i was at the fox valley mall wasting a saturday. in other news i think i really don't like saxaphone.

my parents were here yesterday. i'm pretty sure they're basically thrilled with me getting my life together bc they just kept giving things and buying me things. i got a really lovely birthday present.

i performed my first solo for people other than my studio at the studio recital yesterday. it was definitely not a big deal but it did go well. i played conservatively but other than the fact that it probably sounded rather emotionless to the audience it went off without too many hiccups. i figure i just need to spend some time building my confidence up before i can pull off anything life changing on stage. alright time to suck it up and practice i suppose

i turn 20 and have my first jury in less than 48 hours.