the paper mill is especially fragrant this morning.

also i think britney spears is starting her big comeback. i think she just might be wildly successful. im anxiously awaiting the outcome of her efforts over the next few months.

my life is feeling unusually under control. getting up feels good again.

also i got a free asian themed, combination calendar/menu wall-hanging from hunan when i ordered delivery the other night.

my psych book proposes that medication can lead to drastic changes in behavior and, on a deeper level, even an individuals core personality. i believe in psychiatry. here's hoping.

cheers ya'll. it's almost christmas.

crazy shit comes out of my mouth when listening to elgars enigma variations. but this time was the first time i meant it.

i didn't go to sleep tonight. i went for a run at 5am and now i'm doing laundry. i might even go to downer for breakfast. or maybe i'll go pick up my car that's been at tow star since tuesday. what will i think of this stage of my life when i look back in 30 years?

now it's light outside. i have on 2 pair of sweatpants. i'm not even sure what day it is.. friday? yes friday. yes.

i miss making music.

i have a sneaking suspicion that condoleezza rice might know all the secrets of the world.

why does ranch stick to barbeque better than barbeque sticks to ranch?

today i saw the first "civilian" ridden segway personal transport vehicle. on the street. and i've decided it just not marketable to the masses. it is just too goofy.

right now we're watching animal planet. i'm in chicago.

i want to die and come back as an indian street cow.

drama seems to be at a peak here at lawrence university. it's putting me a little on edge. i've got some big things to ponder. that's for sure. bigger than i realize?

i applied for a job at journey's today - so i've officially reached the maturity level of a 16 yr old. better late than never i suppose. the best part of the job is the auntie anne's pretzel place is like 30 steps away. pretzel dog heaven.

tonight, daphne and i discovered a mutual love of 90's slow jams. they're just so damn good. kc and jojo "all my life" is my fav of the moment. "that boy is mine" is definitely a close second though.

i think im going to chicago tomorrow. i seem to be avoiding making plans. i'm waiting for a sign as to what i should do. im hoping it comes soon.

also, today i was hanging out in browkaw with carrie and i set my hair on fire. everything turned out fine but i did have to put out the blaze with the back of my hand resulting in some blistering. the upside was... mostly it only burned off hair i was planning on having carrie cut off tonight so voila... instant hair cut. some of the ends are a little sizzled but i'm going to go ahead and just leave it for "texture". who knows... someday maybe it'll catch on.

god bless annicka.

i just need to move the fuck on

oh and my sister is converting to buddhism - she presented my parents with her research and reasons for converting on sunday, after refusing to go to church. i'm beginning to realize she might be way smarter than your average person.

i'm also beginning to realize this blog is habit forming.

i pierced my lip last friday and since then i've been living in constant fear of my lip growing over the back of my little earring thing. phobia - acquired fears that are out of proportion to the real threat of an object or situation. thanks dr. hetzler.

megan pickett's speciality is the composition of jupiter. today in class she corrected our textbook's outdated information with data proven through her own research in regard to the composition of jupiter's core. what a babe.

i voted for the first time today. it went off without a hitch although i ever so briefly panicked and forgot whether i was supposed to vote yes or no on the marriage ban. also carrie tried to insert her ballot into the counting machine (think dollar bill taker on a coke machine) before she filled in her little bubbles. i intercepted her. crisis averted. after filling in my bubbles i went over to feed my ballot into the counting machine and this older woman who was helping run the operation was trying to feed in wrinkled up, and what i later learned were absentee ballots, into this machine. it spit the same one back out at her 4 times before she gave up and walked away. i kind of felt like the whole operation needed a bit more supervision. maybe a government agent or 2. i got a sweet sticker though. it says "i voted" - i hear that some places had spanish "i voted" stickers instead. i wish that had been an option.

so the viking conservatives posted anti-gay signs on the glow house and under the doors of rooms in colman and hiett. i really dont want to dwell on my personal feelings bc the best part of all this was watching people rise up in horror. good to know we acutally stand for something. also noted.... the amazing ability of the internet to spread gossipy information as evidenced by the fact that sara bernstein, in china, knew about the incident before some members on campus. remarkable. also gays and their supporters marched on raymond house for a scheduled meeting with our venerable dean nancy truesdell and the 4 nasty conservatives who perpetrated the the act. some cute straight freshman made funny signs to hold as if they were at a protest. then i went to burger king. yum. also my credit card is gone. i feel like a new woman. no but i do feel really good. maybe it's the drugs. kidding kidding kidding.

i'm getting a mini couch for my room. that way i'll be able to lay on it and play mario cart... when i'm not studying that is.

i just brushed my teeth in my room which is fairly edgy. however, then i went down the hall to fill up my water only to realize that i had been listening to shawn colvin's sonny came home loud enough for most of my neighbors to hear. talk about losing street cred. damn.

welcome to 5:00am. i'm up studying for my principles of psychology test. i've spent the last 12 hours or so studying for this test and am very impressed at the ability of impending disaster to motivate some serious study habits.

tonight at downer they had "beef tips" in A line. it strongly resembled a "beef stew" concoction my mom would often make on wednesday or thursday night when she was sick of being a mother and didn't want to fucking make dinner. anyway i kind of enjoyed it and the fact that while i was walking through A line i could announced to anni over her shoulder that i was getting "beef tits" for dinner.

also, big news in my life: my parents have proclaimed that i'm done, "living the paris hilton lifestyle" (that is a direct quote) and should start living more "realistically". my credit card is, at this moment, in an stamped/addressed envelope ready to go back to texas. maybe i should get a job --- mostly i'm glad i got the purchase of the escalade in there before they made this decision.

my favorite new hangout is the volkswagen dealership in appleton. while you wait for your car you can lay on big comfy couches and drink free soda/coffee/water/etc while watching satellite tv. and it's quiet and clean.

now i'm going to move my car into the street. no parking ticket for me today.

i haven't been leaving my room a whole lot. today, after 3 days, i finally made some time in my "busy" schedule to go pick up my thrice towed car at Tow Star. i also left my room at around 10:30pm. i was planning on going to the vr but decided it was too much effort. i got a chicken tender pita instead. in the middle of crossing college ave to get back to plantz the "to go" bag ripped and my pita fell on the cement in the middle of the crosswalk - goddamn.

a side note - i've become completely nocturnal, im paying for percussion lessons in contraband and i think i might get a cat.

detective stabler just got a hot new partner to replace olivia. law and order just keeps getting better. god bless.

oh and happy halloween. i didnt dress up but i almost watched shaun of the dead. carrie, anni and i punked out at the last minute in favor of "The Office" over a halloween themed film.

i'm just glad people will stop walking around in costumes. from my oberservations over the past few days, it seems that everyone took halloween's placement on a tuesday as an excuse to dress up on any of the 5 days prior to the actual holiday. i mean, a night where people can walk around as a kitten or a cowboy is enough fun, but taking the liberty to spread halloween over 5 nights... i think that's abusing the privelege.

well, on to thanksgiving. measuring the year by the passage of holidays is a jolly way to go, unless you frequent macy's at the fox valley mall - it's already christmas there and i think that's fucked up.